


Purple 2.0

by ckret2



Series: Writing Warmups (daily page-long drabbles) [25]
Category: Invader Zim
Genre: Drabble, Gen, Humor, Off-screen death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-14
Updated: 2019-10-14
Packaged: 2020-12-16 12:31:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 338
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21036284
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ckret2/pseuds/ckret2
Summary: Zim, brilliant and loyal Invader that he is, has successfully identified and killed an imposter posing as Tallest Purple—oh, no, wait, it actually was Purple.Now what?





	Purple 2.0

**Author's Note:**

> Written to the prompt: "ISS au where zim actually shoots purple dead in chapter 1"
> 
> For those of y'all that haven't read In Short Supply, all you need to know is in chapter 1 Purple visits Earth alone and makes a request of Zim so far-fetched that Zim is immediately convinced his visitor isn't actually Purple and demands he prove he is. Apparently in this drabble, Purple failed.
> 
> I haven't done one of these in a few days! I've been including a pic of the handwritten page I've been doing these on, like, to prove I really wrote this fic in one page; but at this point it's like 300-400 words per drabble, y'all know I can squeeze that on one page, if you have any doubts on a future story then you can call me out and I'll provide a pic lmao. But taking & uploading a screenshot has proven to be one of the biggest time sinks in getting these fics posted, and I'd like to automate the process as much as possible.

"Won't the Tallest be pleased when they hear I singlehandedly disposed of an imposter," Zim said, marching proudly into the living room. 

"I'm _telling _you," the Computer said, "that was the real Tallest Purple. You—" 

"Silence! Hail the Massive!" Zim grinned until the Massive picked up, then saluted. "Greetings, my Tallest! I am pleased to report that— Hey! Where's the other one?" 

Slurping a soda, Red shrugged apathetically. "I'unno. On vacation?" 

"I see! Well then. I'll call again to report once he can hear the good news too. Signing off!" 

Zim saluted again as the call ended. 

Then he shrieked. 

### 

"Remember, Computer," Zim said, struggling through the fabric of a skirt three times his height to find the hover belt's controls. "As soon as you've resurrected Tallest Purple, alert me—_quietly—_on the Massive." 

"Yeeeah... I'm not gonna... succeed at that." 

"Good work!" Zim got the belt on and wobbled up to float at Purple's height. "Gir, remember to call to 'report in' once I tell you I'm on the Massive. Do you still have your script?" 

Gir, wearing a dog costume hastily accessorized with a cardboard Pak and Zim's overshirt and human wig, gave him a thumbs up. 

"Excellent! Tallest Red won't suspect a thing!" Zim checked to make sure his borrowed armor was secure, put on a pair of solid purple contacts, and said in his squeakiest voice, "To the Massive!" 

The Computer said, "That doesn't sound anything like Tallest Purple." It was ignored as Zim climbed into Purple's ship and departed. 

The Computer used a claw to pick up Purple's naked corpse and sighed heavily. 

### 

"I, the one and only Tallest Purple, have returned!" 

The bridge of the Massive turned to stare at Zim. 

Red frowned. "What's wrong with your arms. They look... tiny." 

Zim wiggled his arms, fingertips barely sticking out of gauntlets pressed up to his shoulders. "What? No! It's just... eh..." He felt silent. "A... skin condition?" 

Red squinted. 

Then he shrugged. "Eh. Gross. Welcome back." 

Zim heaved a sigh of relief.

**Author's Note:**

> Original post available on [tumblr](https://ckret2.tumblr.com/post/188353001247/purple-20-30). Comments/reblogs there are very welcome (as are comments here)!


End file.
